Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. Plus you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, faith education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married dating.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose generally though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your family or anybody else? You would need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a male I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.